can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
