The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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