I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
