And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
