If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
