I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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