I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
