420 ftw
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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