I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
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We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
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Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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