remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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