We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again