Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
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she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
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He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW