summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
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Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
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