YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.