i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
