Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.

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  (651): Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip. http://tfl.nu/wq4t
  Replies (2) Good night (785) Bad night (869)
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  (619): View more from California

  If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.

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  (619): If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library. http://tfl.nu/gs64
  Replies (59) Good night (1016) Bad night (3725)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.

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  (647): We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda. http://tfl.nu/2f76
  Replies (8) Good night (4058) Bad night (1009)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.

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  (203): There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper. http://tfl.nu/r5h8
  Replies (11) Good night (3094) Bad night (1787)
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  (760): View more from California

  searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this

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  (760): searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this http://tfl.nu/chn0
  Replies (10) Good night (3127) Bad night (1379)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.

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  (406): I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name. http://tfl.nu/y6iz
  Replies (3) Good night (3069) Bad night (663)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.

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  (217): Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you. http://tfl.nu/3vuw
  Replies (6) Good night (2098) Bad night (740)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.

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  (+66): Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees. http://tfl.nu/3h4e
  Replies (10) Good night (2289) Bad night (675)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?

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  (850): if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair? http://tfl.nu/1ccg
  Replies (6) Good night (900) Bad night (1367)
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  (310): View more from California

  True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?

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  (310): True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant? http://tfl.nu/aiag
  Replies (6) Good night (1080) Bad night (1673)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night

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  (301): Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night http://tfl.nu/cuhc
  Replies (2) Good night (1290) Bad night (394)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  What if our hands were octopus tentacles?

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  You're an idiot.

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  (662): What if our hands were octopus tentacles? (1-662): You're an idiot. http://tfl.nu/2n3l
  Replies (17) Good night (2332) Bad night (666)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.

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  (910): Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit. http://tfl.nu/w0fz
  Replies (8) Good night (1734) Bad night (407)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We were destined to go to rehab together

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  (405): We were destined to go to rehab together http://tfl.nu/ewf5
  Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (385)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.

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  (248): I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice. http://tfl.nu/pazi
  Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (336)

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