There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
