Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
im holly from the hills drunk
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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