I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
