i would punch a child for taco bell
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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