I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I need a burrito and a hug.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
