I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
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I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
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TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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