Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
honey bunches of taint.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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