Me. At least after what I've been through.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
