Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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