Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
