So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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