youre lurking in front of me
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
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