i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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