I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
