He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
