You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
