Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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