marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
