so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
