U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize