Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
