she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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