so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
