You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
