Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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