Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
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