i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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