And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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