the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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