Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
