He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize