It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
