I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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