She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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