if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
