you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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