I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
