Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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