I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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