she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
