HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
